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Conversations Over Coffee

Because we’re just getting to know Emilia.

Serena Knudson (SK): You are an actress and you’ve done some modeling, what made you want to become a published author?

Emilia Ares (EA): I am an actress, I’ll own that. I will fully deny any modeling work and will defer to: nope that wasn’t me. 

I’ve always been obsessed with storytelling. Whether it was full-blown, out of this world, make-believe answers when my parents asked me, “How was school today?” and I’d tell them that a huge Hollywood studio producer came to school and selected me to star in the next Annie film. Or just writing wildly exaggerated dramatizations of my day in my journal. Storytelling has always been pure fun to me. I never thought I’d be an author but after spending any spare minute I had over the past ten years on telling Mina and Oliver’s story, I figured it’d be a waste not to share them with the world…just in case it resonated with someone, made someone feel less other or less lonely.

SK: What was your favorite part to write of Love and Other Sins?

EA: I loved writing the dialogue between Oliver and Mina. I also loved writing Mina’s sharp quips and bad-ass moments, especially where she speaks her mind and stands up for herself or others. 

SK: Your characters are pretty complex, if you had to choose which of your characters would you be best friends with?

EA: It would be a very close call between Nyah and Lily, Mina’s mom. Nyah is a firecracker and so grounded. She knows exactly who she is and what’s what. Lily is just an absolute no bullsh*t love bomb and she would be so much fun to talk to over drinks. 

SK: If you could learn a new hobby, what would it be?

EA: Definitely to fly a plane or ride a motorcycle

SK: What is something you are passionate about?

EA: Getting together as a community and solving community problems on a micro level. Also, hats. I love hats. 

Let’s Get Intimate!

Don’t you want to know more about this interesting author?

SK: You have a minor in Russian and used the Russian language and culture in your novel. What drew you to choose Russia over other languages and countries?

EA: Russia has such a dark, rich, and complex history. I love its people and culture so much. The people of Russia wear so many layers and I’m not just talking about the clothes. To truly get to the heart of a Russian person takes time and a deep level of friendship and trust. There are much fewer surface smiles and superficial niceties in Russian culture. I can’t wait to explore Russia more in book 2 of Love and Other Sins. 

SK: What advice would you give to other authors who may want to add different cultures to their novel? 

EA: Just be passionate and respectful about the culture you’d like to explore. As long as your interest comes from a place of appreciation and respect it will most likely turn out beautifully. Try to be as thorough and objective in your research as possible and make sure to speak with as many different people from that culture as you can find. Don’t rush and pay close attention to details, they will nuance the writing.

SK: As mentioned above, you have some pretty complex characters. Did anyone inspire any of your characters?

EA: I would say about 25 percent of my characters’ personalities were inspired by people I’ve come across or known well. A lot of their traits are also a mix and match of the people I’ve come to know or observed over time. I love exploring the flawed, morally grey aspects of humanity. With this novel, I wanted to explore what happens when two people make a mess of things while falling in love. We’ve come across many books that depict positive character arcs where the MC improves over the course of the story. I wanted to explore what happens when your infatuation with a person happens to bring out the worst in you? And, of course, that question isn’t fully answered by the end of this novel, not quite yet. 

SK: Has writing and publishing a book changed the way you view yourself?

EA: Yes, in a million different ways, but also, no. In essence, I am who I am and probably nothing will change those core parts of me. 

I thought acting was the most terrifying and vulnerable thing I could try. Nope, I was wrong. Writing a book is. I’ve built some thick skin from all the rejection and criticism I’ve faced in the acting world, but nothing could have prepared me for the brutal imposter syndrome of publishing a novel. The way that I’ve changed so far is that I no longer seek approval. I made a thing, I put it out there, and I hoped it would find someone that “gets it”. And so far, that’s already happened. It did find readers that got it, many more than I thought it would. So, it feels like a weight off my shoulders and now, I’m going to try and just enjoy that feeling, focus on it instead of the negative stuff and just run with it. 

I think I’m still in the process of being changed by writing and publishing this book, so I might be too close to see the big picture just yet. I’ll circle back on this later in my life, for sure. 

SK: Who has been the biggest supporter of your writing?

EA: My sister was the first person I showed my writing to. She was reading a lot of YA at the time and she’s the one who encouraged me to finish it and make it into a book. She said she loved it and couldn’t wait for more so, at first at least, I kind of was writing it for her. I don’t think Love and Other Sins would have existed without her encouragement. 

Fun and Games

Now that we’re well-acquainted with Emilia, here are some fun questions and what she had to say about them.

SK: If you could meet your characters, what would you say to them?

EA: Mina: Get it together girl. He’s great but don’t lose yourself. You have so much going for you. Don’t lose sight of your family, your friends, your ambitions. 

Oliver: *I’d just give him a big, warm hug.* 

Lily: Palm Springs and chill?

Nyah: Netflix and chill?

Kiran: I’ve got three words for you, Kiran: Den of Vipers. Enjoy and leave the boy alone.

SK: If you could choose an author, dead or alive, to take a writing class with, who would it be?

EA: Jodi Picoult, her writing is beautiful in a gut-punch, rip your heart out stomp on it and shove it back in kind of way. So, so good. 

SK: What ridiculous thing has someone tricked you into believing or doing?

EA: Peter Pan convinced me that if I believed I could fly strongly enough that I would fly. I tried. I fell, hard. Forgot about the fairy dust. 

SK: If we were in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, who are three people you’d want on your team?

EA: Voya from Blood Like Magic, fierce and powerful. Jude from The Cruel Prince, unstoppable bad*ss. Hanna from the Amazon series, dangerous and killer smart.

SK: What is one thing you wish more people knew about you?

EA: I’m a massive dork.

SK: What are your favorite book recommendations?

EA: Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, Into the Wild Light, Beach Read, The Dutch House, Where the Crawdads Sing, A List of Cages

Justin Cox | 28K Followers | Oct 13 5 min read

Actress and author Emilia Ares believes storytelling is an inherent part of the human experience. Learn more in her Write Now interview.

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One of the ways Emilia Ares works through writer’s block is by acting out the scene she’s writing. While this advice is fantastic for all writers, Emilia might have a leg up on most of us. She’s a professional actress who understands that storytelling is an inherent part of the human experience. Enjoy Emilia’s interview.

Who are you?

My name is Emilia Ares. I am an author, and a film and television actress. I live in Los Angeles, California with my husband and my two amazing kiddos. Connect with Emilia on her website.

What do you write?

I write Young Adult contemporary fiction. I began writing when I was 7 — a short story inspired by my younger sister. It was a dramatization of how she broke into our mother’s lipstick collection and illustrated our apartment walls. I had since secretly dreamt of becoming a writer, but I didn’t think it was a realistic aspiration because I was an immigrant, growing up in a non-English-speaking household. I got to a point where I knew I had a story to tell, and I just needed to tell it, insecurities be damned. Writing a book was exhausting and exhilarating, like trying to describe a vivid dream that won’t leave your consciousness until you give it life on paper.

Where do you write?

I wrote the first draft of Love and Other Sins on my laptop in bed between 10 pm and 5 am. That’s when my imagination really churns — in the wee hours of the night. Once that was complete, the subsequent 20-some-odd rounds of editing took place at my writing desk during the day. It would have been dreadfully unpleasant without the company of my good friends: Stained Coffee Mug and Spinal Support Pillow (I have terrible posture).

I wrote and edited on ol’ handy-dandy Microsoft Word, and if I was ever inspired on the go, I just jotted things down into the notes section of my phone. Since I was usually driving around a lot to auditions, work, my son’s school, etc., it helped to edit on the go. I would program the Microsoft document accessibility tool to read excerpts aloud to me, that way I utilized almost every minute of my day efficiently, and it was easier to notice typos hearing them aloud.

When do you write?

I like to initially write at night and edit during the day. I wrote the first draft at the pace of about a thousand words a day. Sometimes, it would be three thousand. Sometimes, I’d take days off. When editing, I tried to get through about a chapter a day — more or less — depending on the chapter’s length. I do set deadlines and goals for myself. I hold myself accountable by hiring the editor in advanced and booking three months ahead of time, for instance.

Why do you write?

I was interested in storytelling for as far back as I can remember. Storytelling is an inherent part of the human experience; it’s how we link ourselves to one another, to our ancestors. Maybe it’s my way of rebelling against the inevitable oblivion of my own finite existence. But, put more simply, as an actress, I felt like a vessel for the story — pivotal, but restricted. As an author, I finally understood what it felt like to be in full control of the narrative. It’s a very different feeling. It’s also a different responsibility — to be the driver of the vessel and to be the vessel itself and to be the driving force and to be the road and the mountains and the sea and gravity and everything in-between.

Also, I write because it’s fun for me. I really enjoy making something and sharing it with others and hoping they can connect in at least some aspect. That was the best part of making movies like Falling Overnight, the unexpected emails and outreach from the fans who were touched by the story. I’ve craved that connection ever since. I think this is my chance to connect with a whole new group of people, readers. My heart is really in it. I want to shed light on the flaws of the foster care system. I want to bring attention to the stigmas that all immigrant families face. And I want to advocate for those who are overlooked by learning more about different issues affecting our community and spreading the word. The arts are a powerful tool to foster empathy toward one another.

How do you overcome writer’s block?

I overcome blocks by pivoting. I try different approaches: I switch to pen and paper to connect to a different part of my brain; I write scenes out by hand in my notebooks whenever I had blocks; it really got my brain sparking in periods of stifled creativity. Another way to get through a block: I’d act a scene out or read it aloud. Sometimes, taking a break from writing and doing something physical helps. If nothing is working, I’ll skip a part that’s giving me trouble and go to the next moment or character mind-space that I can imagine clearly. Later, I’ll go back and fill in that blank. Usually, that does the trick.

Bonus: What do you enjoy doing when not writing?

When I’m not writing or working, I spend most of my time with my kids. We make five-course meals out of play-dough, paint abstract masterpieces, jump to the moon on the backyard trampoline, fly to Hawaii in an Amazon shipping box. It’s so much fun to see the world through my kids’ eyes.

I am also partial to a glass of good red wine, inhaling a bewitching fantasy novel in one sitting, or binge-watching the latest book-to-television series adaptation, regardless of my sleep deprivation.

Write Now is a weekly interview series created by Justin Cox. Hungry for more writing advice? Sign up for Justin’s newsletter, Eat Your Words, today!